Busy?

I would like to tell you I haven't posted because we have been so busy doing exciting things but the truth is I just haven't posted. I feel like we have been busier then usual but in actuality we really haven't been. Kevin has been doing more funerals during the day meaning he is almost always asleep when I'm home so I have been doing my own thing.
 Last weekend was my grandma's funeral and I had to go it alone since Kevin had his own funerals to do that day. I must say my sister is a lucky lady! She is marrying into a wonderful family. Her fiance was great during the whole process. He was kind and caring at the hospital and by her side at the funeral to help her in any way he could (since I was there without Kevin he was also willingly comforting me and making sure I was doing alright). His family even came to both showings and the funeral service to be there and support Melanie, its amazing to see how much they love her and have brought her into their family.  The day of the showing Matt, Charlene, Aubrey, Natalie, and Aaron got me a very nice card and it really brightened my day. Then on my way to the showing some jack wad drove right into the back of my truck. I am almost positive I did nothing wrong, there was no red light and I was driving 5 mph because I was unsure of where the building was and I didn't want to miss it. I am pretty sure they were turning and turned to wide and hit me. I drove to the side of the road (to get out of the intersection) and they stopped like they were going to get out but then left. So I left and then later on I freaked out (because thats how I am) and ended up calling the police department the next day to make sure I wouldn't be arrested.
On Monday morning barely ten minutes after Charlene had left Natalie somehow tripped (over nothing honestly the girl is a walking accident) and slammed her head into the wall leaving a dent the size of her face. She cried hard but ended up not having a scratch on her, a big spot but no lump or bruise. Then later that day we went to the mall (we were supposed to meet up with another nanny and her kids but they ended up canceling last minute) and Aaron threw himself off the top of the slide leaving giant red marks on his face. It was not a good day so we went home ate lunch and took long naps.
On Tuesday (my day off) I did laundry and cleaned ALL day! I honestly don't understand how two people can have so much laundry. And I can't understand that by Friday you couldn't tell I had cleaned.
On Wednesday Kevin texted me right after I had gotten to work to see if I wanted to go to the ball this year. Silly question, of course I want to go to the ball! He asked if I could get a dress that fast (the ball is December 7th) and I was all like challenge accepted. So off to the mall we went (we were already going to the mall that day anyway since we didn't get to meet up with our friends on Monday). Natalie helped me pick out dresses and I found one that was okay and bought it. Then as the day went on I realized I hated it and ended up buying a different dress that night. The new dress needs a ton of alterations so I am hoping they can have it done on time.
Thursday was a boring day.
Friday Kevin and I went to the gym in the morning when he got home from work and then had an afternoon date. We went out to lunch at Arbys and then to the movies to see the new Hunger Games movie. It was really good and I am already so anxious for the next one to come out. Then Friday evening I met my Friend Tiffany at the gym and worked out for about an hour with her. She is a great motivator! Seriously I do way more work when she is with me! Thats right I went to the gym twice on Friday. Actually last week I went to the gym twice everyday and if I couldn't make it to the gym in the morning I did the insanity workout at home. So if you haven't gotten me a Christmas present yet I would like money for my gym membership. 

Its been a rough week

On Sunday my grandmother passed away. She had cancer and was going through treatment and it just became too much for her body to handle. I got a call last week that she was not doing well and then later I received another call saying she was doing better (if you knew my grandmother this was always the case she would be hurt/sick and then be absolutely fine). Saturday I was out for lunch with a girlfriend of mine when I got a call that her health had taken a turn for the worse and she was in the hospital not doing well. I left my lunch/dinner and Kevin and I went straight to the hospital. My grandmother never fit the typical old granny description (small, frail, quiet) she was tall, broad, and loud but when I went into her hospital room she didn't look like herself. She looked small and weak and not like the grandmother I knew and it hit me hard. As we waited for her to be transferred to the hospice unit it hit me what all I was grieving. Not only was I losing my grandmother I was losing my last grandparent. I grew up with two grandmas and great grandparents and my children will never be able to meet theirs. When my mom's mom passed away I was in Florida on spring break and was not given the choice of where to be and this has never settled well with me and the news that I was about to lose my other grandma reopened old wounds I didn't realize still hadn't healed. I felt since I was unable to be with my other grandma during her time I needed to be here for hers. Kevin and I stayed at the hospital until almost 10 pm and went back on Sunday around 11. This time more family had come and everyone was sitting in the room with her (sick people, hospitals, and death all make me extremely uncomfortable) I took turns sitting her room and in the waiting/lobby area. I had told myself and my mom from the second I heard she was in the hospital I did not want to be in the room when it was her time to go but for some reason I may never understand I suddenly felt the need to move from the waiting area into her room and less than 60 seconds later it was her time and I could not force myself to leave I felt compelled to stay and in some ways I am glad I did. I was there to see her go, I saw first hand that she went peacefully with very little pain and surrounded by family members which is comforting but at the same time it brings on a whole new emotion I have never had to deal with. The showing is on Friday and the funeral service on Saturday, I ask that you keep my family in your thoughts this week as we go through this time.

3 years, can you believe it?

Kevin and I have been together for three years! And what a wonderful three years it has been.

Hey there time change you suck!

Every day at 4 am my alarm clock starts screaming at me to get out of bed and every day I say f@#$ you alarm clock leave me alone, then I drag myself out of bed and start my day. This morning I was wide awake at 2:50 am and could not fall back asleep no matter how much I tried but of course 15 minutes before my alarm is set to go off is when I finally fell asleep. I hate this time change stuff, it is pitch black when I wake up and it is dark when I get home and I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

Silas rarely gets up with me anymore and when he does this is where he can be found. He likes to mock me by by staying in bed or coming out and sleeping on the couch.

In my last green bean delivery I received two pomegranates and I finally got around to cutting them up. I now know why pomegranate stuff is so expensive, they are a pain in the butt to eat. I had never had them before so I watched a bunch of youtube videos on how to eat them. There are two ways: 1.cut them into pieces and soak them in a bowl of water for a few hours 2.cut them in half and take 30 minutes picking all the seeds out. I opted for option 2. 

For dinner I had clam chowder (I love it!) and for dessert I had some pomegranate

What 2013 taught me

As we get closer to the end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014 I have (over the course of a few months) reflected on the year and on my life in general. This year I have learned a lot about myself and in learning these things I have set some major goals for the up coming year.

1. I do not like kids.
Now some of you are probably thinking then why did you teach preschool for 3 years and why do you work as a nanny. Well, the answer is I don't know. While I was teaching I honestly loved it and I loved every child in my class and was always sad when they reached the age to move up to the next class. I love the job I have now. I love Aubrey, Natalie, and Aaron as if they were my own family. I can not imagine not being able to see them each week, in fact I actually enjoy spending time with them.
That being said over the past year I have discovered I just plain and simple do not like any other kids, especially whiney or misbehaving kids. Kevin and I did a corn maze in September and whenever we caught up to a family I despised the time we had to be near them. We went to Johnny Appleseed Festival and I remember saying "Why are all these kids here? Their parents should leave those things at home or just not come!" We went swimming in our neighborhood pool and a little girl kept talking to me and the whole time I kept thinking to myself why won't she just go away and leave me alone, I don't want to talk or play with you. Do I want kids of my own? The more I think about it the more I am not sure. I have always wanted to be a mommy but the feeling I get when I see a kid at the grocery makes me think maybe I don't. I worry that I won't like them but then I think of how much love I feel for Aubrey, Natalie, and Aaron and I am pretty sure I do want my own someday.

2. I am stronger than I think.
This year Kevin was supposed to deploy for a year but it was canceled at last minute. For a few months we prepared the house for me to be there alone and I secretly prepared myself emotionally for what I thought would be one of the toughest years of my life. I had thoughts of I can't handle living alone or not being able to talk to Kevin everyday but in the back of my mind I knew I had to do it, I could do it, and I would do it. While I was over joyed I didn't have to be without him and worry for a year I am a bit upset I didn't get to prove to myself that I could handle it.

3. I am not a good housewife.
While Kevin and I are not married I consider myself a housewife or housegirlfriend as I sometimes refer to it. I can not cook, I can not keep up with the laundry, I can not keep the house clean. Basically I suck at being a woman. My goal for this upcoming year is to become a better housewife. I want to start meal planning and actually cooking a few meals each week. I want to keep the house clean for more than 2 days at a time.

4. I am older than I realize.
Up until recently I have always felt a bit of disconnect when it came to my friends. I have a few friends my own age but most of my friends are 3-5 years older than I am. My friends always say you are more mature than most people your age and I always forget how young you are and so on and so on. Recently I haven't felt the age gap like I used to.

5. I am healthier and unhealthier than I think I am.
We try to eat right and be healthy but when I workout I realize how out of shape I am. My goal is to eat better (stop having little cheat items in my diet) and to workout everyday. I don't think I am an overly big person but I am for sure not where I could/should be and I am determined to change this.

6. I dress like a middle schooler.
My wardrobe consists of mainly jeans and tshirts. This year I would like to dress a bit nicer more like a grown-up.

7. I have opinions my own view point of the world.
And they matter. Kevin has taught me that I have a right to express my opinions. He has never had a problem sharing his opinions and view points but I have always been one to just keep mine quiet especially if someone didn't agree with me but now I feel more comfortable expressing my opinions even if others don't see it the same way I do.

8. I need new hobbies.
I am constantly telling Kevin I am bored and need some new hobbies but never find any. This year I want to learn how to sew and or crotchet or knit.

9. I can't live without paper towels.
And I don't want to. No matter how green/save the planet I get I will probably never give up my paper towels.

10. I only go to church because they pay me.
I would love to find a church that I like and attend every/most Sundays. (with Kevin)

11. I learned unconditional love and devotion.
Silas loves me no matter how grumpy I am or how badly I cook or if I have no makeup on. Kevin does too but humans just can't show it the way a puppy can.

Here are the Results.......

Did you guess?

Last chance to take a guess.

Silas is a Collie, Labrador Retriever, Rottweiler mix.

No, seriously thats what his results say. Kevin and I are both in agreement that we don't see any of the collie in him except maybe that the length of his fur comes from there. After seeing the pictures of the rottweilers we were both amazed because that is exactly Silas, from they way they were standing, they way they held their heads, and just the face it was like looking at a less fluffy Silas. I have a list of his family tree but can't figure out how to get it on here.

Any guesses?

A few weeks ago I ordered a DNA test for Silas. It came in the mail rather quickly and I promptly completed what I had to do and sent it back. All I needed to do was fill out some information, register my kit online, and swab Silas' gums and cheeks. The last part was much harder than I had anticipated, in the instructional videos the dogs always sit very still and let the people swab with no problem at all, Silas kept trying to eat the swab and didn't really appreciate me rubbing it on his gums and cheeks. It was a battle and one I was determined to win, in the end I didn't so much as win as we just reached a compromise; if he let me swab I would stop sitting in him. I sent it in and prayed I had collected enough DNA. Two weeks later (today) I got my results! I am going to post his results either late tonight or tomorrow morning but first I wanted to give you a chance to pick out your breed guesses.

Here are my guesses:
Golden Retriever-This is what they told us when we got him
German Shepherd- This is what they told us when we got him
Pointer-Sometimes he looks like he is trying to point
Kookier Hound-He has the wispy ear hair and tail that this breed has
Leonberger-Our trainer thought that is what he was when she first met him and is always commenting on how he looks like a mini version of one
Chow-People at the pet store have guessed this